Confession time...RESET!!

"Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain't goin' away." ~ Elvis Presley

 

Confession time...
So tonight we ordered pizza delivery. :(  I rationalized it by calling it 'congratulations pizza' for Jesse's completion of his comic prep for Detroit Fanfare. Rationalized because a part of me (large part) was also looking forward to a break, and not having a solid plan for the evening was not fully committed to whatever we would make.
But, that's not all.

Last weekend was my meltdown - although we ended up 'cooking' at home, it was the cheapest cardboard pizza, accompanied by a load of junk - cheetos, ice cream, cookies.
And the weekend before that though I did cook at night, or spent the time canning  - I admit we did buy fast food for lunch - pizza one day and Burger King the next. This I rationalized because the goal of our program was to stop buying dinner out - which we had 'officially' met. Ah, tricky...huh? My fat cells are brilliant beyond my reasoning - and for that reason, I need to adjust the focus here. It is the Freedom From Fast Food challenge...and the only way I will gain true freedom is if I eliminate it completely, be totally honest in that title - because otherwise I will keep craving it or thinking I can lean back on it 'if' and the 'if' gets bigger and things are 'rationalized' and before you know it we're back where we started.

So - how about this for a challenge? If I don't make it, I don't eat it.
It seems a little stringent, but I feel I need this. Otherwise I will always be rationalizing my health away. I know - maybe a little black and white thinking, all or nothing - that gave me pause. But the truth is that these choices are no longer in line with who I want to be - I want to be a healthy person, I want to be a good homemaker, I want to feel fulfilled by connecting to past roots and reviving practices like canning and bread making. All of these things together are part of the persona I am trying to unearth. Fast food and junk food have no place in this lifestyle.

So, what needs to change to make this happen? My expectations - yes, I can make my own bread/etc. sometimes but not all the time. Life realities at this time don't allow for it - so I can't really expect myself to make a feast every night, or even new things that just look interesting and I want to try. A lot of times things will need to be simple, quick, and familiar. Which brings us to planning - I am so incredibly organized in other arenas - so it's time to bring that into play for myself. Do more of: planning my meals ahead, pre-cut/prep things (with Jesse's help!), cook ahead and store, plan to do 1 thing a day versus overload on the weekends, etc. Also, Jesse will be taking over 3 days cooking and blogging - 1 of which will just be reheating something I put in the freezer so we both have a break [yes, we've discussed these terms ;0]. Another thing is rewards for passing milestones - I often overlook this. Something that will take further thought.

There have been moments of victory. Looking at my food log, one day I realized that I personally made everything I ate that day except for cereal - including homemade almond milk, veg. burgers, fries, cornbread - things that you could buy pre-made or box mix, I made from scratch.

Also, in the last month I've lost 10 pounds. Our challenge being just shy of 3 weeks, I find a correlation. Wow, what a difference not eating fast food every night for dinner can make! ;0

I do feel like the last 19 days have been a victory for us. I just want to make it a victory that I can be wholly proud of - one with lasting changes. So here's to our reboot - Day 1 tomorrow! A fresh page in our journey.